Newly-Married

Are you a Newly-Married couple who is making the success and the long-term satisfaction in your marriages a reality?

I bet you’d be surprised to hear that the research strongly suggests that partners in healthy, loving relationships have at least five, positive interactions every single day!

Would it surprise you to know that marriages succeed when BOTH partners give up some control? According to marriage research conducted by Dr. John Gottman, among the most important predictors of marriage success are the man’s ability to accept influence from his partner; and the woman’s ability to moderate her approach to seeking influence.

Couples Coaching is well suited to motivated couples who are committed to building a strong, grounded, lasting marriage with a high and on-going level of satisfaction and joy for themselves and for each other.

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself in a bit of low energy or lethargic; or like all the life has been drained out of you following your wedding.  It is completely normal. Your anxiety and stress level has been high for weeks or months planning your wedding and getting ready for the BIG day. And now it’s over; and having a sense of loss is normal as the realities of married life  begin to set in.

Understand that your Honeymoon is the transition between the wedding and building your married life. It is NOT what married life is all about. The Honeymoon is over and that is exactly the way it should be.  That period is NOT meant to last forever.

During your first year of married life, regardless of how long you may have lived together, the realities of married-life replace continual romantic dinners, lots of lovemaking and non-stop attention. You begin to recognize that you have bills to pay, dirty laundry that is calling; and you begin to turn your attentions back to your work, family, social and personal life that took a back seat when you were falling in love and planning your wedding.

This is often surprising and alarming to newly-married couples. Don’t think this means you have made a mistake and your relationship is in trouble. On the contrary, this is normal and exactly why you need to hire a Couples Coach and get to work.

It is important to understand that there are conversations to have and decisions to make together about who’s doing what around the house; how are you going to deal with money and all things   related to earning, spending, saving, investing and building wealth; how you will spend leisure “couple” time and “individual” time; find time to have sex, deal with in-laws, balance work and home life; and on and on!

Too few newly-married couples understand that the stage of romantic love is when your brain chemicals kick in and you have feelings of exhilaration and extreme passion. Although romantic love is a wonderful stage of marriage, don’t expect that stage of your relationship to last forever. Rather, expect that the emotional highs of romantic love to fade quickly. This doesn’t mean that romance and passion are out the window. It means that it’s important to learn how to keep that spark alive as a committed couple for many years to come!

Do you have the skills necessary to deal with conflict, repair hurt feelings, ask for what you need and want; set, maintain and honor boundaries, and keep that spark alive?

Couples Coaching can support you to deepen your knowledge and build your positive marriage success skills and strategies; recognize the blessings and the dangers of the four predictable stages of marriage; become a good observer of the seven keys to successful marriage and proficient with the skill-sets of each key area; and much more.

Red Flags to Watch Out For

• Romance and intimacy wax and wane
• Unrealistic and unachievable expectations and assumptions
• You notice you don’t have much fun together anymore
• The level of conflict or bickering increases
• You say yes to everything you used to say yes too and begin neglecting your partner and yourself
• Fighting over money; and over spending or a resistance to spending anything at all
• Misunderstandings about or conflict with in-laws
• Sexual problems

Make the success and the long-term satisfaction in your marriage a priority. You wouldn’t build a house from the ground up without comprehensive building plans. Be one of the first newly-married couples you know to build your most important relationship with focus and care. Give it the time and attention it deserves.