Last Saturday we talked about owning and honoring the unique gifts, skills, talents and natural abilities that live inside of you.

You started creating three Personal Reflection Lists to help you identify and acknowledge those treasures, and begin the new habit of owning, honoring and appreciating them and by extension, owning, honoring and appreciating the deepest, most sacred parts of yourself.

Today, we’re going to explore what treasures inside your partner.

All too often, life inserts itself and we get sucked into a more logistical frame of mind: What needs to be done? Who needs to be where and when? Who is going to make that happen and how?

Relationship life almost always needs to become a mindful, intentional dance that includes your focus on the logistical parts of life and a fierce commitment to your focus on matters of the heart. A rich relationship life includes extending and receiving appreciation, empathy and thoughtful, loving actions. 

As a mindful partner, you are consciously aware of showing up with deliberate intention; c-h-o-o-s-i-n-g the words and actions that send the unmistakable message that your partner makes your heart sing; that you are thinking about them; and that they are important to you. 

Being open, vulnerable and emotionally connected doesn’t happen by itself or because you are a couple

I want to invite you to make another three Personal Reflection Lists, similar to the ones that you started last week, but these Lists will have a slightly different focus.

Personal Reflection List #1:

You are your partner’s best friend and you are sharing with me all the characteristics and personality traits that you love, value and appreciate the most about him (her).  What would you say?

Personal Reflection List #2:

Today is your partner’s 90th birthday and 100 of his closest friends are gathered around him (her) and toasting him. What is your toast? What are your friends saying about your partner?

Personal Reflection List #3:

If your partner’s dog or cat (or bird, horse or…) could talk, what random acts of kindness or generosity from him (her) would those animals tell me about?

I bet your partner touches you and others in his (her) life in rich, meaningful ways, and you don’t even realize it.

Bonus Personal Reflection List:

Your best friend from out of town has come to visit you. In what ways does (s)he see your partner being thoughtful, caring, curious or giving of his (her) time, energy or focus that you might be missing?

Remember, today is the beginning of a new habit you are building; the habit of recognizing and acknowledging YOUR PARTNER; who s/he is when no one is looking and how s/he shows up in hi (her) life and your life together when s/he is being his (her) BEST and most brilliant, passionate Self.

Until a habit becomes automatic it’s still a choiceSo, chose to return to your Personal Reflection Lists often, and add to them generously!

Chose to honor and appreciate the treasures living inside your partner.

Become aware of and deeply value what s/he brings to his (her) life and to your life, and the rich contributions s/he makes to the lives of others in his (her) world.

After Valentine’s Day, we will explore the treasures in your relationship.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC ~

Enjoy my FREE Guide, 3 UN-Loving Traps Couples Face Living With Illness.