Have you ever hurt your partner’s feelings? Or had your feelings hurt?  Of course you have. Because, when we are involved and invested in someone’s present and future, hurting someone’s feelings or getting our feelings hurt is inevitable.

When we are hurt we react to the words and to the actions of others, and that is completely normal, natural and necessary.

Apologies Repair the Hurt

Your apology is an act of loving kindness. Your apology is your offering to repair the hurt. An apology does not speak directly to the perceived offense (the behavior that caused you partner’s hurt).

The very act of apologizing must be an integral part of all committed relationships, regardless of the nature of the relationship.

Apologizing and receiving an apology is the special way partners can restore the energy equilibrium between them when one partner does or says something that hurts the feelings of the other.

Apologies Do Not Necessarily Resolve Issues

Sometime after you and your partner have re-established the emotional status quo between you, schedule a time to sit down and problem solve whatever the content was of the event that was hurtful or upsetting.

Do not attempt to do this as long as one of you is feeling hurt or upset. Heal the hurt first. Relationships have their own rhyme and rhythm. One essential skill to learn and use frequently is the art and act of apologizing and accepting an apology.

No one is perfect and no relationship is without its ups and downs. The art and the act of offering and receiving apologies is a skill well worth learning, practicing and using with each other often.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

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