If your partner is hurt or offended by something you said or didn’t say, or did or didn’t do, his or her upset is not an indictment of you. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person. It doesn’t even mean you did something bad or wrong.

In fact, it may not mean anything at all about you, personally.

It is definitely a message about your partner. And an apology is in order.

Please know that your partner’s hurt or upset is a message to you about him or her. The message is: What you did or said, intentionally or unintentionally, didn’t land right.

That is an important piece of information because in a loving relationship how your partners hears you and experiences you matters to you! In committed relationships that are loving, mutually respectful and based on good will and good intention, it is important that both partners be alert as to how your words and actions affect and impact each other.

As a loving partner, it matters to you if your partner’s feelings are hurt.

Defensiveness, shifting the blame, being disparaging, trying to make light of the hurt or offense is unkind and disrespectful. If you engage in any of that adolescent behavior, stop it!

Begin practicing the fine art of apologizing today! It is well worth the effort.

Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

 

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC
www.DrJackieBlack.com ~ DrJackie@DrJackieBlack.com

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