In the course of your relationship, you and your partner will occasionally do or say something or not do or say something that will cause each other hurt.

The very act of apologizing is an essential relationship success skill that calls on both partners to offer and receive apologies when a hurt or an offense is experienced and shared by one of you with the other.

Your apology is an act of loving kindness, and is an offering to repair the hurt. Your apology does not speak directly to the perceived offense.

Apologies Do Not Resolve Issues

Apologies can mend your hurt heart, but unfortunately, apologies do not resolve the issues that were part of the hurting event.

Following the hurting event and the apology (offering or receiving); and after you and your partner have re-established the emotional status quo between you, schedule a time to sit down and problem solve whatever the content was of the event that was hurtful or upsetting.

Do not attempt to do this as long as one of you is still feeling the sting of hurt or upset. Heal the hurt first.

Relationships have their own rhyme and rhythm. One essential skill to learn and use frequently is the art and act of apologizing and accepting an apology.

No one is perfect and no relationship is without its ups and downs.

The art and the act of offering and receiving apologies is a skill well worth learning, practicing and using with each other often.
Remember, only YOU can make it happen!

Original Content by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC